"A man who loses his privacy loses everything...and a man who gives it up of
his own free will is a monster."
—Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
In this modern age of hedonism, man is beset on all sides by temptation: loose women, fast cars, and even faster drugs. But how can we partake in these pleasures without sacrificing our public images? The difficulty of balancing short-term gratification with long-term consequences has occupied man for ages, inspiring philosophers and artists alike.
As a person with loose morals and high ambitions, I have always dreamt of a way to reconcile my love for wild behavior with my aversion to being held accountable for my actions. Early one morning, after being interrogated for hours concerning my involvement with a certain suburban sex dungeon, I had an epiphany: my wife wants to believe me - I just need to give her a reason to.
Allow me to introduce My 4Square Alibi: reasonable doubt at the touch of a button. Just look up your supposed whereabouts on Foursquare.com, enter the location's venue ID and your Foursquare login information into our simple interface, and we'll do the rest. My 4Square Alibi will check you into any location making it appear that you're actually there.
Now when your wife hears through the grapevine that you've been hanging out at collegiate women's volleyball tournaments, you can tell that grapevine to shut its stupid grapevine mouth. Clearly, you've been volunteering at the local food shelter.
Check in so your story checks out, with My4SquareAlibi.com. Enjoy, and don't do anything I wouldn't do!
- Ted Sanderson, founder of My 4Square Alibi
*Looking for the “real” About section? Read this blog post